ASK MR. COOL (Note: NSFW Comments Warning)

[jcarlton]

This thread is dedicated to answering any and all questions that you may have for Mr. Cool. Fire away.

[moglman]

Got a sister? :mrgreen:

[jcarlton]

Got a sister? :mrgreen:

Yep, two that are already making a couple of guy's miserable every day. :wink:

[opusfxd]

What IS the velocity of an unladen sparrow?

[BackwardsGolfer]

What IS the velocity of an unladen sparrow?


bwaahahahahaha


in addition


Did you say shrubberies?

[glking]

Where did I leave my keys??

[jcarlton]

What IS the velocity of an unladen sparrow?

It is exactly the same velocity as bull seamen at the point of ejaculation when using a mounting device for collection.

[jcarlton]

Where did I leave my keys??

They fell behind the table next to the door, closest to the side that the coat hanger is on.

[opusfxd]

What is the square root of pi?

[jcarlton]

What is the square root of pi?


Rhubarb :wink:

[LordOfWu]

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

[jcarlton]

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Well it is common knowledge that Woodchucks chuck exactly a beavers load every day. 8)

[LordOfWu]

OK, so how many posts could a post whore post, if a post whore could whore posts?

:twisted:

[jcarlton]

OK, so how many posts could a post whore post, if a post whore could whore posts?

:twisted:

473

[LordOfWu]

Damn, you're good!!!

:mrgreen:

[opusfxd]

He was. :mrgreen:

[jcarlton]

He was. :mrgreen:

It was the right answer at the time. 8)

[opusfxd]

He was. :mrgreen:

It was the right answer at the time. 8)
Hard to keep track of a moving target.

[GAZHOG]

How many BABOTL's does it take to light a firecracker? :P

[jcarlton]

How many BABOTL's does it take to light a firecracker? :P


One...














but all he can do is call a CFRH to light it for him because all of the BABOTL have Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome from our last bombing run and can't even look at a match. 8)

[opusfxd]

What's in Joe Cool's jambalaya? (asks the person who can't make it to find out himself)

[jcarlton]

What's in Joe Cool's jambalaya? (asks the person who can't make it to find out himself)

Very simple, Zatarrain's jambalaya mix, Chicken tenders cut into chunks, Andouille sausage sliced if you can find it (smoked sausage will work), shrimp and Crayfish tail meat. I also know how to make this from scratch but can't find a good reason to as the Zatarrain's is so good. Season with LA hot sauce of your choosing.

Zatarrain's (http://www.zatarains.com/)

[opusfxd]

What's in Joe Cool's jambalaya? (asks the person who can't make it to find out himself)

Very simple, Zatarrain's jambalaya mix, Chicken tenders cut into chunks, Andouille sausage sliced if you can find it (smoked sausage will work), shrimp and Crayfish tail meat. I also know how to make this from scratch but can't find a good reason to as the Zatarrain's is so good. Season with LA hot sauce of your choosing.

Zatarrain's (http://www.zatarains.com/)

Hey, that's about the same as my recipie!

[zmancbr]

What is the velocity of vomit? :twisted:

[jcarlton]

What is the velocity of vomit? :twisted:


5.2686526623 MPS If you are a Colfax street walker. Otherwise 2.5689965231 MPS

[opusfxd]

Why is the weather always crappiest on the weekends?

[zmancbr]

What is the velocity of vomit? :twisted:


5.2686526623 MPS If you are a Colfax street walker. Otherwise 2.5689965231 MPS


:twisted:

[jcarlton]

Why is the weather always crappiest on the weekends?


Because it's sick of you fuggers shooting rockets up it's arse. :wink:

[Spect]

If I wear cargo shorts and a guayabera will Kangaroos get pocket envy?

[jcarlton]

If I wear cargo shorts and a guayabera will Kangaroos get pocket envy?


No but don't be surprised when one tries to crawl up your arse. :shock: Just ask Peter he made that mistake one time, one time. :P

[opusfxd]

How does one begin to approach the coolness of JC?

[jcarlton]

How does one begin to approach the coolness of JC?


That's a question that can only be answered over a great Bourbon and rare cigar. You bring both and I'll bring the answers. 8)


I'll also bring the confidentiality contract. :twisted:

[twinarch]

I'll also bring the confidentiality contract. :twisted:

Is that "Cool Code" for sawed off shotgun?

[jcarlton]

I'll also bring the confidentiality contract. :twisted:

Is that "Cool Code" for sawed off shotgun?

Nah...





















It's Cool Code for I got a Pimp Hand and I ain't afraid to use it. :twisted:

[opusfxd]

It's Cool Code for I got a Pimp Hand and I ain't afraid to use it. :twisted:

A Pimp's Hand? Is that like a lucky rabbit's foot or something?

[Spect]

I'm thinking about quitting my job, so I had planned to give notice by dropping trow and unloading a 4lb shit on my bosses desk, do you think it's wrong to ask for a reference?

[jcarlton]

It's Cool Code for I got a Pimp Hand and I ain't afraid to use it. :twisted:

A Pimp's Hand? Is that like a lucky rabbit's foot or something?

Yep...













In the same way that the rabbits foot was lucky for the rabbit. :shock: :lol:

[jcarlton]

I'm thinking about quitting my job, so I had planned to give notice by dropping trow and unloading a 4lb shit on my bosses desk, do you think it's wrong to ask for a reference?

Not at all, I think that there has got to be a market for somebody that can lay down pre-determined amounts of shit.

[opusfxd]

I didn't know that Spect was in PreSales and Marketing. :lol:

[Spect]

I didn't know that Spect was in PreSales and Marketing. :lol:

Ba Domp Domp!

[St. Lou Stu]

What's the best, most painless way to get a gerbil out of a warm, dark, moist location? :shock:
I have a buddy that wants to know.

[BackwardsGolfer]

for tonight:

an Indian Tabac Anniversary Limited Reserve Buffalo

or

a Romeo y Julieta Viejo 'B'


I havent had either yet.....

[Spect]

What's the best, most painless way to get a gerbil out of a warm, dark, moist location? :shock:
I have a buddy that wants to know.

LMFAO. Your supposed to tie a string around its neck first! Not that I'd know :oops: ... a friend told me.



Stu, did you know in the woods your less likely to run into an authority figure?

[jcarlton]

What's the best, most painless way to get a gerbil out of a warm, dark, moist location? :shock:
I have a buddy that wants to know.


Glazed carrots, duh. :roll:





:lol: :lol:

[jcarlton]

for tonight:

an Indian Tabac Anniversary Limited Reserve Buffalo

or

a Romeo y Julieta Viejo 'B'


I havent had either yet.....

Both :wink:

[twinarch]

How does one go about acquiring the newly created Reno beach front property?

Also, when you head down to the Under Bay Area next weekend will you be taking your snorkel gear?

(Just had a rather funny thought that you should hand Darrell a snorkel and goggles when you see him next weekend! :twisted: )

[jcarlton]

How does one go about acquiring the newly created Reno beach front property?

That's easy, just follow the new person from the Bay Area that bought property and moved to Reno to become a professional gambler. You will be able to pick up a great beach front spot after about a week or so. :twisted:

Also, when you head down to the Under Bay Area next weekend will you be taking your snorkel gear?

It's not a requirement already? :shock:

(Just had a rather funny thought that you should hand Darrell a snorkel and goggles when you see him next weekend! :twisted: )

[opusfxd]

If you have a train leave Chicago going north at 65 mph, an airplane flying west from New York City at 300 mph which has Sally on board with five apples who gives two to Sam and receives three oranges from Billy, how many puffs would it take to nub a Boli Petit Corona if you only hit it once a minute?

[jcarlton]

If you have a train leave Chicago going north at 65 mph, an airplane flying west from New York City at 300 mph which has Sally on board with five apples who gives two to Sam and receives three oranges from Billy, how many puffs would it take to nub a Boli Petit Corona if you only hit it once a minute?

1 hour to smoke it and...
















a half hour to plunge your eyeballs back into place. http://www.buttercreamdreams.com/smilies/zonk.gif



:mrgreen:

[opusfxd]

Ok, here's an important question.

How much spare space is in the Carlton's luggage for the upcoming venture out west? :twisted:

[jcarlton]

Ok, here's an important question.

How much spare space is in the Carlton's luggage for the upcoming venture out west? :twisted:

None after I packed the asbestos underwear. :oops: I hope they aren't still mad about the pounding we put on them. :twisted:

[BackwardsGolfer]

for tonight:

an Indian Tabac Anniversary Limited Reserve Buffalo

or

a Romeo y Julieta Viejo 'B'


I havent had either yet.....

Both :wink:

hehehe actually ended up out at black bear in parker yesterday for a unexpected round of golf... got home too late for smokins.. probably hit up the RyJ tonight for real though 8)

[jcarlton]

for tonight:

an Indian Tabac Anniversary Limited Reserve Buffalo

or

a Romeo y Julieta Viejo 'B'


I havent had either yet.....

Both :wink:

hehehe actually ended up out at black bear in parker yesterday for a unexpected round of golf... got home too late for smokins.. probably hit up the RyJ tonight for real though 8)

That's a fun course, Peter and I played there a couple weeks ago in a vendor sponsered scramble. Gotta love free golf!!!! :mrgreen:

[opusfxd]

Ok, here's an important question.

How much spare space is in the Carlton's luggage for the upcoming venture out west? :twisted:

None after I packed the asbestos underwear. :oops: I hope they arent still mad about to pounding we put on them. :twisted:
Ah rats. I was going to send a 'friendly offering' along. :twisted:

[jcarlton]

Ok, here's an important question.

How much spare space is in the Carlton's luggage for the upcoming venture out west? :twisted:

None after I packed the asbestos underwear. :oops: I hope they arent still mad about to pounding we put on them. :twisted:
Ah rats. I was going to send a 'friendly offering' along. :twisted:

I'm sure I could find a little room take along a few items. :twisted: Let me know.

[BackwardsGolfer]

That's a fun course, Peter and I played there a couple weeks ago in a vendor sponsered scramble. Gotta love free golf!!!! :mrgreen:

nice! i like BB, been playing out there since they opened it...

best shot of the day, the signature hole #7, drove the green - over the ravine and up to the top shelf of the green!! BIRDY TIME!!!!

one of my friends works in the bar there part time so we got on for $20 including cart :D

[jcarlton]

That's a fun course, Peter and I played there a couple weeks ago in a vendor sponsered scramble. Gotta love free golf!!!! :mrgreen:

nice! i like BB, been playing out there since they opened it...

best shot of the day, the signature hole #7, drove the green - over the ravine and up to the top shelf of the green!! BIRDY TIME!!!!

one of my friends works in the bar there part time so we got on for $20 including cart :D

Nice!!!

[opusfxd]

What should the temperature of the water be in the bathtub for when I rebuild my laptop?

[jcarlton]

What should the temperature of the water be in the bathtub for when I rebuild my laptop?


I would go with very cold...



















That will keep the boys high and tight for the shock when you jump in with it :shock:

[opusfxd]

Thanks Mr. Cool!!!! I used the coldest water I could get out of the faucet:
http://i282.photobucket.com/albums/kk269/opusfxd/cigars/P1040604.jpg

Too bad it was still fighting me a bit so I really took care of the problem:
http://i282.photobucket.com/albums/kk269/opusfxd/cigars/P1040605.jpg

As with all big problems, needed the plunger to break it up a bit. :mrgreen:

[jcarlton]

Thanks Mr. Cool!!!! I used the coldest water I could get out of the faucet:
http://i282.photobucket.com/albums/kk269/opusfxd/cigars/P1040604.jpg

Too bad it was still fighting me a bit so I really took care of the problem:
http://i282.photobucket.com/albums/kk269/opusfxd/cigars/P1040605.jpg

As with all big problems, needed the plunger to break it up a bit. :mrgreen:

Nice work!!!


In the meantime Betty called and said Barney would like his foot back. 8)

[Spect]

Nice one Dave!

[zmancbr]

Looks like it is fixed to me... :mrgreen:

[zmancbr]

So if my work computer is down so I can't access the network drives... and the boss isn't here on a day where I was going to take a half day anyway... how long do I have to stay?? :mrgreen:

[jcarlton]

So if my work computer is down so I can't access the network drives... and the boss isn't here on a day where I was going to take a half day anyway... how long do I have to stay?? :mrgreen:

You are still there? :shock:









Run Forest run :wink:

[zmancbr]

So if my work computer is down so I can't access the network drives... and the boss isn't here on a day where I was going to take a half day anyway... how long do I have to stay?? :mrgreen:

You are still there? :shock:




Run Forest run :wink:

Believe me I am tempted lol... Really tempted... :mrgreen:

[opusfxd]

If Sally has 3 apples and gives 2 to Billy then Mark gives her 5 more and two oranges. She gets on a bus where there are five people on board at the first stop two get off and four get on. Second stop one gets on and three get off and give Sally three peaches. All the time the bus is traveling east at 30 mph for twenty three minutes before making a turn north for sixteen minutes. How many more stops will she need to make a pie?

[zmancbr]

If Sally has 3 apples and gives 2 to Billy then Mark gives her 5 more and two oranges. She gets on a bus where there are five people on board at the first stop two get off and four get on. Second stop one gets on and three get off and give Sally three peaches. All the time the bus is traveling east at 30 mph for twenty three minutes before making a turn north for sixteen minutes. How many more stops will she need to make a pie?


Well... if she is hot, then no more stops will be required as long as I am on the bus with her... :mrgreen: :lol: :twisted:

[jcarlton]

If Sally has 3 apples and gives 2 to Billy then Mark gives her 5 more and two oranges. She gets on a bus where there are five people on board at the first stop two get off and four get on. Second stop one gets on and three get off and give Sally three peaches. All the time the bus is traveling east at 30 mph for twenty three minutes before making a turn north for sixteen minutes. How many more stops will she need to make a pie?

That's a trick question...


















she already has a pie. :P

[zmancbr]

If Sally has 3 apples and gives 2 to Billy then Mark gives her 5 more and two oranges. She gets on a bus where there are five people on board at the first stop two get off and four get on. Second stop one gets on and three get off and give Sally three peaches. All the time the bus is traveling east at 30 mph for twenty three minutes before making a turn north for sixteen minutes. How many more stops will she need to make a pie?

That's a trick question...
she already has a pie. :P

I think that is the response he was looking for !!! :twisted: :shock: :mrgreen:

[BackwardsGolfer]

Mr. Cool

where is the rain? why, why isnt it here? my lawn (or whats left of it) would like to know

Thanks in advance,

*arid in aurora*

[jcarlton]

Mr. Cool

where is the rain? why, why isnt it here? my lawn (or whats left of it) would like to know

Thanks in advance,

*arid in aurora*

I've been dancing all day and nothing, can't even get my sprinklers to work right. My guess is the Osage pissed off the rain gods for some reason so I have no rain juice in my dance. 8)

[BackwardsGolfer]

couldnt bring a cloud or 2 back from the bay with ya huh?
:shock:

[jcarlton]

couldnt bring a cloud or 2 back from the bay with ya huh?
:shock:

Sunny and 85 there, not a cloud in the sky to bring back. It was even 85 in Santa Cruz. :mrgreen:

[zmancbr]

couldnt bring a cloud or 2 back from the bay with ya huh?
:shock:

Sunny and 85 there, not a cloud in the sky to bring back. It was even 85 in Santa Cruz. :mrgreen:


Well sunny and 85 is better than sunny and 95... :shock:

[zmancbr]

Mr. Cool

where is the rain? why, why isnt it here? my lawn (or whats left of it) would like to know

Thanks in advance,

*arid in aurora*

I've been dancing all day and nothing, can't even get my sprinklers to work right. My guess is the Osage pissed off the rain gods for some reason so I have no rain juice in my dance. 8)


Looks like J might have some juice in his dance here in a day or two... the weather update looks like it is supposed to rain the next few days... maybe he did bring that back with him! :mrgreen:

[zmancbr]

So how many cigars does it take for me to be happy an not want to buy any more? :mrgreen:

[jcarlton]

So how many cigars does it take for me to be happy an not want to buy any more? :mrgreen:


268,952



8)

[zmancbr]

So how many cigars does it take for me to be happy an not want to buy any more? :mrgreen:


268,952



8)


Nice... the answer I was looking for... Guess I should go ahead and get that box of Hoyo churchills then eh? :twisted:

[opusfxd]

Mr. Cool

where is the rain? why, why isnt it here? my lawn (or whats left of it) would like to know

Thanks in advance,

*arid in aurora*

I've been dancing all day and nothing, can't even get my sprinklers to work right. My guess is the Osage pissed off the rain gods for some reason so I have no rain juice in my dance. 8)
Were you necked? That might have made the difference.

[opusfxd]

Why did I find much joy in watching the fire on Green Mountain yesterday as it was rapidly approaching the over priveledged houses that sprawl upon the mountainside and are thrust upon my view?

[jcarlton]

Mr. Cool

where is the rain? why, why isnt it here? my lawn (or whats left of it) would like to know

Thanks in advance,

*arid in aurora*

I've been dancing all day and nothing, can't even get my sprinklers to work right. My guess is the Osage pissed off the rain gods for some reason so I have no rain juice in my dance. 8)
Were you necked? That might have made the difference.


These days the only time I dance necked you can be assured I am gonna make rain. But I may take out a bird or two at the same time. :wink:

[jcarlton]

Why did I find much joy in watching the fire on Green Mountain yesterday as it was rapidly approaching the over priveledged houses that sprawl upon the mountainside and are thrust upon my view?


Note to self: Wear a cheap watch and smoke only Creamosa's around David and always keep an eye on him when he has matches.
:mrgreen:

[zmancbr]

These days the only time I dance necked you can be assured I am gonna make rain. But I may take out a bird or two at the same time. :wink:


Sounds about right lol... :lol: :mrgreen:

[opusfxd]

Why did I find much joy in watching the fire on Green Mountain yesterday as it was rapidly approaching the over priveledged houses that sprawl upon the mountainside and are thrust upon my view?


Note to self: Wear a cheap watch and smoke only Creamosa's around David and always keep an eye on him when he has matches.
:mrgreen:
Creamosas? Oh they got to you!!!!

[zmancbr]

Why did I find much joy in watching the fire on Green Mountain yesterday as it was rapidly approaching the over priveledged houses that sprawl upon the mountainside and are thrust upon my view?


Note to self: Wear a cheap watch and smoke only Creamosa's around David and always keep an eye on him when he has matches.
:mrgreen:
Creamosas? Oh they got to you!!!!


If that is whats in the bomb... I will gladly donate mine to the troops... of course not ours I would never make ours smoke that crap... we can donate them to the Canadian troops... :lol:

[opusfxd]

Creamosas? Oh they got to you!!!!


If that is whats in the bomb... I will gladly donate mine to the troops... of course not ours I would never make ours smoke that crap... we can donate them to the Canadian troops... :lol:

No, the Canucks give us hockey. How about the French?

[zmancbr]

Creamosas? Oh they got to you!!!!


If that is whats in the bomb... I will gladly donate mine to the troops... of course not ours I would never make ours smoke that crap... we can donate them to the Canadian troops... :lol:

No, the Canucks give us hockey. How about the French?


PERFECT... I don't like the french anyway so that will be the perfect way to thank them.... :lol:

[jcarlton]

Hey, Hey, Hey. This is my thread and I will answer the questions around here...























Fuck the French! :twisted:

[zmancbr]

Fuck the French! :twisted:

That about sums it up for me... 8)

[opusfxd]

Fuck the French! :twisted:

That about sums it up for me... 8)
Yup.

So Mr. Cool, why are the frenchies called frogs?

[jcarlton]

Fuck the French! :twisted:

That about sums it up for me... 8)
Yup.

So Mr. Cool, why are the frenchies called frogs?

Because they swallow flies of course. :oops:

[zmancbr]

Because they swallow flies of course. :oops:

And that probably isn't all their men swallow... :shock: :lol:

[Spect]

Mr Cool, being your cooler than everyone else, I think I've come up with a good way to divide up the cigars from the BA Bomb but I wanted your opinnion before I brought it to the rest of the group:

1. We can put them in a pin(things that kid whack the crap out of until candy falls out)a.
2. Bindfold Zach
3. Beat the shit ouf of Zach while he's bindfolded.
4. Open the pin(things that kid whack the crap out of until candy falls out)a.
5. Smoke cigars
6. Call ambulance for Zach :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

[zmancbr]

Mr Cool, being your cooler than everyone else, I think I've come up with a good way to divide up the cigars from the BA Bomb but I wanted your opinnion before I brought it to the rest of the group:

1. We can put them in a pin(things that kid whack the crap out of until candy falls out)a.
2. Bindfold Zach
3. Beat the shit ouf of Zach while he's bindfolded.
4. Open the pin(things that kid whack the crap out of until candy falls out)a.
5. Smoke cigars
6. Call ambulance for Zach :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:


That was kind of tough to read... did you type while you were smoking crack again??? :twisted: :mrgreen:

[Spect]

:oops: Maybe.

[opusfxd]

Mr Cool, being your cooler than everyone else, I think I've come up with a good way to divide up the cigars from the BA Bomb but I wanted your opinnion before I brought it to the rest of the group:

1. We can put them in a pin(things that kid whack the crap out of until candy falls out)a.
2. Bindfold Zach
3. Beat the shit ouf of Zach while he's bindfolded.
4. Open the pin(things that kid whack the crap out of until candy falls out)a.
5. Smoke cigars
6. Call ambulance for Zach :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

Let's just combine steps 3 and 4 by putting candy in Zach's pockets and he can be the pinata.

[jcarlton]

Mr Cool, being your cooler than everyone else, I think I've come up with a good way to divide up the cigars from the BA Bomb but I wanted your opinnion before I brought it to the rest of the group:

1. We can put them in a pin(things that kid whack the crap out of until candy falls out)a.
2. Bindfold Zach
3. Beat the shit ouf of Zach while he's bindfolded.
4. Open the pin(things that kid whack the crap out of until candy falls out)a.
5. Smoke cigars
6. Call ambulance for Zach :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

Let's just combine steps 3 and 4 by putting candy in Zach's pockets and he can be the pinata.

Okay PW's this is Mr. Cools thread and I am the only one with answer. And here it is...


1-5


Zach is a grown man, he can call the ambulance himself when he wakes up. :twisted:



:lol: :lol: :lol:

[opusfxd]

Mr. Cool has spoken.

So with all the warm weather and the ever present wasps flying around, could I just spray myself with the wasp spray and protect myself?

[zmancbr]

Okay PW's this is Mr. Cools thread and I am the only one with answer. And here it is...
1-5
Zach is a grown man, he can call the ambulance himself when he wakes up. :twisted:

:lol: :lol: :lol:

But PWs are supposed to thread jack as a part of their credo or something lol... So I must carry on.

Oh and btw... I won't leave any of you my opus collection if something happens during the beating... :shock: :lol:

[jcarlton]

Mr. Cool has spoken.

So with all the warm weather and the ever present wasps flying around, could I just spray myself with the wasp spray and protect myself?

Yep that should take care of it, but I don't recommend as it as having a dead body around tends to attract flies and maggots. It's just easier to SWAT (http://www.harborfreight.com/cpi/ctaf/displayitem.taf?Itemnumber=40122) the wasps.

[zmancbr]

Mr. Cool has spoken.

So with all the warm weather and the ever present wasps flying around, could I just spray myself with the wasp spray and protect myself?

Yep that should take care of it, but I don't recommend as it as having a dead body around tends to attract flies and maggots. It's just easier to SWAT (http://www.harborfreight.com/cpi/ctaf/displayitem.taf?Itemnumber=40122) the wasps.


While he is busy swatting them... can I just sit and watch them bite him??? :shock: :mrgreen: :twisted:

[opusfxd]

Ooooh a portable bug zapper!! A redneck's wet dream, the party's wherever you and a 12 pack is now.

[jcarlton]

Mr. Cool has spoken.

So with all the warm weather and the ever present wasps flying around, could I just spray myself with the wasp spray and protect myself?

Yep that should take care of it, but I don't recommend as it as having a dead body around tends to attract flies and maggots. It's just easier to SWAT (http://www.harborfreight.com/cpi/ctaf/displayitem.taf?Itemnumber=40122) the wasps.


While he is busy swatting them... can I just sit and watch them bite him??? :shock: :mrgreen: :twisted:

Well wasps sting but whatever floats your boat. :oops:


:twisted: :mrgreen:

[jcarlton]

Ooooh a portable bug zapper!! A redneck's wet dream, the party's wherever you and a 12 pack is now.

Yep, Rednecks rejoice. There is a new marvel of modern technology to take apart when the Meth kicks in.


8)

[LordOfWu]

Mr. Cool,

I have a two part question...I am having a BBQ at my house, and one of the requested entertainments is to fill one of the guests pockets with candy and beat him with sticks until we're tired. Seeing as how I want to be a good host, I have the following questions:

1. What type of wood is recommended for beating a PW senseless?
2. Would you recommend hard candy or chocolates for the pockets of the human pinata?

Your help is greatly appreciated.

[zmancbr]

Well wasps sting but whatever floats your boat. :oops:


:twisted: :mrgreen:

Eh bite...sting... same thing... it doesn't hurt like a sting imo... it is more like the damn things bite you over and over lol... but to be PC you are correct... they use a stinger... 8)

[zmancbr]

Mr. Cool,

1. What type of wood is recommended for beating a PW senseless?
2. Would you recommend hard candy or chocolates for the pockets of the human pinata?

Your help is greatly appreciated.

Oh no you didn't.... :shock:

[jcarlton]

Mr. Cool,

I have a two part question...I am having a BBQ at my house, and one of the requested entertainments is to fill one of the guests pockets with candy and beat him with sticks until we're tired. Seeing as how I want to be a good host, I have the following questions:

1. What type of wood is recommended for beating a PW senseless?
2. Would you recommend hard candy or chocolates for the pockets of the human pinata?

Your help is greatly appreciated.

1. I think that ash would be best, I like maple but it splinters badly when it breaks and I wouldn't want any of the guests to put out an eye.
2. Definitely hard candy as it is usually wrapped in plastic thus protecting it from any bodily fluids Zach may lose in the fun.

Party On Wu!

[zmancbr]

1. I think that ash would be best, I like maple but it splinters badly when it breaks and I wouldn't want any of the guests to put out an eye.
2. Definitely hard candy as it is usually wrapped in plastic thus protecting it from any bodily fluids Zach may lose in the fun.

Party On Wu!


Ash is a very tough wood and is rot resistant which would help if it gets wet...

Next question... do you think it would be better to put nails in the ends? :shock:

[jcarlton]

1. I think that ash would be best, I like maple but it splinters badly when it breaks and I wouldn't want any of the guests to put out an eye.
2. Definitely hard candy as it is usually wrapped in plastic thus protecting it from any bodily fluids Zach may lose in the fun.

Party On Wu!


Ash is a very tough wood and is rot resistant which would help if it gets wet...

Next question... do you think it would be better to put nails in the ends? :shock:

Oh no, then it wouldn't be a kid friendly party at all. Bloody pinata is strictly an adult game. :wink:

[zmancbr]

Oh no, then it wouldn't be a kid friendly party at all. Bloody pinata is strictly an adult game. :wink:


Well at least I am spared that torture... 8)

Any other kid friendly games you recommend all knowing and wise JC? :mrgreen:

[jcarlton]

Oh no, then it wouldn't be a kid friendly party at all. Bloody pinata is strictly an adult game. :wink:


Well at least I am spared that torture... 8)

Any other kid friendly games you recommend all knowing and wise JC? :mrgreen:

Spin the cigar for sure. In this game you put head to foot several cigars forming a circle. Then put one beli cigar in the center and spin, whatever cigar is landed on must be smoked to the nub by the person spinning. This sounds like fun until someone ends up smoking a watermelon White Owl. 8)

[LordOfWu]

Oh no, then it wouldn't be a kid friendly party at all. Bloody pinata is strictly an adult game. :wink:


Well at least I am spared that torture... 8)

Any other kid friendly games you recommend all knowing and wise JC? :mrgreen:

Spin the cigar for sure. In this game you put head to foot several cigars forming a circle. Then put one beli cigar in the center and spin, whatever cigar is landed on must be smoked to the nub by the person spinning. This sounds like fun until someone ends up smoking a watermelon White Owl. 8)

Now that sounds like fun...and since it will be outside, lighting up that grape cigar won't kill everyone in the room!

[zmancbr]

Spin the cigar for sure. In this game you put head to foot several cigars forming a circle. Then put one beli cigar in the center and spin, whatever cigar is landed on must be smoked to the nub by the person spinning. This sounds like fun until someone ends up smoking a watermelon White Owl. 8)

I will take a watermelon white owl all day over a Acid Karmasutrasplash lol... that thing smelled like ass when Ray made a bet with a guy to smoke it... that guy looked like he was gonna vomit... :lol:

[zmancbr]

Now that sounds like fun...and since it will be outside, lighting up that grape cigar won't kill everyone in the room!

No but I bet anyone within 20 feet might keel over dead... :shock: :?

[LordOfWu]

Now that sounds like fun...and since it will be outside, lighting up that grape cigar won't kill everyone in the room!

No but I bet anyone within 20 feet might keel over dead... :shock: :?

You know you'd smoke it, you Cremosa Lover!!!

:twisted: :oops:

[zmancbr]

You know you'd smoke it, you Cremosa Lover!!!

:twisted: :oops:

Okay you caught me... I love everything about nasty cigars... the grapes... watermelons... creamosas... I love them all... :oops:

[twinarch]

I'd have to disagree with ash and go with white oak. It's more rot resistant and a heavier, denser wood. Just my .02.

[zmancbr]

I'd have to disagree with ash and go with white oak. It's more rot resistant and a heavier, denser wood. Just my .02.


Thanks!! Just what I needed... a more dense wood!! :shock:

[Spect]

I love that I've helped this thread evolve into a murder plot for a good friend. :twisted:

[opusfxd]

Oh Mr. Cool, so knowledgeable and wise:

What are the odds of Zach slowing down his posting once he passes me?

What are the chances he'll slip and pull a finger?

[jcarlton]

Oh Mr. Cool, so knowledgeable and wise:

What are the odds of Zach slowing down his posting once he passes me?

What are the chances he'll slip and pull a finger?


He's gonna have to get his finger out of his ass first. :P Hence the stinky keyboard :twisted:

[opusfxd]

Mr Cool,
If a post whore could whore posts, how many posts could a post whore whore?

[jcarlton]

Mr Cool,
If a post whore could whore posts, how many posts could a post whore whore?

0 :twisted:

[zmancbr]

Oh Mr. Cool, so knowledgeable and wise:

What are the odds of Zach slowing down his posting once he passes me?

What are the chances he'll slip and pull a finger?


He's gonna have to get his finger out of his ass first. :P Hence the stinky keyboard :twisted:


Eww.... now that is a visual I don't even wanna see and its my ass... :shock:

[zmancbr]

I love that I've helped this thread evolve into a murder plot for a good friend. :twisted:


yeah thanks asshole... :evil: :roll: 8)

[opusfxd]

I love that I've helped this thread evolve into a murder plot for a good friend. :twisted:


yeah thanks asshole... :evil: :roll: 8)
Spect, I'd not accept any rides from him any time soon. He might eat at Taco Bell and have some 'broken windows' in his car during the trip.

[opusfxd]

He's gonna have to get his finger out of his ass first. :P Hence the stinky keyboard :twisted:


Eww.... now that is a visual I don't even wanna see and its my ass... :shock:

Is this you? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DzZqje04vLE

[zmancbr]

He's gonna have to get his finger out of his ass first. :P Hence the stinky keyboard :twisted:


Eww.... now that is a visual I don't even wanna see and its my ass... :shock:

Is this you? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DzZqje04vLE


Glad I can't get youtube at work lol... that is probably a link I don't wanna see!!

[LordOfWu]

Oh wise and handsome Mr. Cool...how many cigars will be consumed at the BBQ herf? I need this information to prepare appropriate ash containment devices. Thank you oh honorable one!

:shock: :mrgreen:

[jcarlton]

Oh wise and handsome Mr. Cool...how many cigars will be consumed at the BBQ herf? I need this information to prepare appropriate ash containment devices. Thank you oh honorable one!

:shock: :mrgreen:


36 8)



Large containers, this one is going to be big. Thanks for hosting it. :!:

[zmancbr]

36 8)

Large containers, this one is going to be big. Thanks for hosting it. :!:

I believe JC is correct... I bet it will be 40+ smokes. I plan on having 2-4 and I am sure most other people do as well and with 10+ smokers... it promises to be a big pile of ash!! :mrgreen:

[opusfxd]

I think 36 is what Jamie is consuming.

[LordOfWu]

I think 36 is what Jamie is consuming.

Yep, probably a safe guess...I think I can find some steel drums by then!

:mrgreen:

[zmancbr]

I think 36 is what Jamie is consuming.


What the hell is this one post crap? You come in here today and make one post? You have a new crackberry and new internet access and one post? With this kind of behavior we may have to strip you of PW status... :shock:

[opusfxd]

I think 36 is what Jamie is consuming.

Yep, probably a safe guess...I think I can find some steel drums by then!

:mrgreen:
Ooh a steel drum band? Are we having a Carribean theme?

[opusfxd]

Mr. Cool, what is the dress code for our BBQ herf? Will kiss the cook aprons be necessary?

[opusfxd]

Even more importantly Mr. Cool, will our Q herf be more successful as the famed Shack Herf? Should I bring my camera for evidence?

[zmancbr]

Mr. cool... will we need sunscreen for this event and what will the weather be like? :mrgreen:

[jcarlton]

Mr. Cool, what is the dress code for our BBQ herf? Will kiss the cook aprons be necessary?

Same as every day, shorts and a comfortable shirt. I am a bit pissed that my wife won't let me wear my "Danger Giant Penis" shirt or "Blow Me" hat. :evil:

Even more importantly Mr. Cool, will our Q herf be more successful as the famed Shack Herf? Should I bring my camera for evidence?

The shack herf ain't got nothing on us...

unless you like super high end almost imposable to find cigars and liquor. :roll:


Mr. cool... will we need sunscreen for this event and what will the weather be like?

The weather will be perfect and Mert will need SPF 500 for that dome. If he can't find any, Kilz primer should work. 8)

[zmancbr]

The weather will be perfect and Mert will need SPF 500 for that dome. If he can't find any, Kilz primer should work. 8)

LMFAO... I have to make fun of him while I can... one day I will be applying the primer... :oops: :shock:

[jcarlton]

The weather will be perfect and Mert will need SPF 500 for that dome. If he can't find any, Kilz primer should work. 8)

LMFAO... I have to make fun of him while I can... one day I will be applying the primer... :oops: :shock:

I only do it because I am right there with him. :P

[opusfxd]

The weather will be perfect and Mert will need SPF 500 for that dome. If he can't find any, Kilz primer should work. 8)

LMFAO... I have to make fun of him while I can... one day I will be applying the primer... :oops: :shock:

Fortunately, I don't recall any chrome domed people in my family.

[LordOfWu]

The weather will be perfect and Mert will need SPF 500 for that dome. If he can't find any, Kilz primer should work. 8)


LMAO...I don't care you are, that's funny! Alas, I think I'll just go with a hat.

[Spect]

You should paint you head just for fun, the pics would be pricless. Best of all the wife kids would think you flipped your shit for sure...

[zmancbr]

The weather will be perfect and Mert will need SPF 500 for that dome. If he can't find any, Kilz primer should work. 8)

LMFAO... I have to make fun of him while I can... one day I will be applying the primer... :oops: :shock:

I only do it because I am right there with him. :P


I hear ya... I seem to lose a few more every year... its only a matter of time...

[zmancbr]

The weather will be perfect and Mert will need SPF 500 for that dome. If he can't find any, Kilz primer should work. 8)

LMFAO... I have to make fun of him while I can... one day I will be applying the primer... :oops: :shock:

Fortunately, I don't recall any chrome domed people in my family.


That because you are a Princess... :D :mrgreen:

[zmancbr]

You should paint you head just for fun, the pics would be pricless. Best of all the wife kids would think you flipped your shit for sure...

LOL... can you imagine Mert with a bright pink painted head? Awesome !!! :twisted:

[opusfxd]

Mr. Cool, how many coats should they be applying for best coverage and protection?

[zmancbr]

JC... how many white owls should I bring for everyone to enjoy? They have been in my sock drawer for a couple of years and should be ready to roll... :mrgreen:

[zmancbr]

MR C... how long until I pass Queen PW so that I can be the new Queen??? :mrgreen:

[opusfxd]

Mr Cool, will I be able to handle the fun of tomorrow's Q Herf? I mean will I really be able to stand it?

[jcarlton]

Mr. Cool, how many coats should they be applying for best coverage and protection?

37 will cover well but if you go ahead and 3 more it can be pealed of like a hat and reused. 8)

[jcarlton]

JC... how many white owls should I bring for everyone to enjoy? They have been in my sock drawer for a couple of years and should be ready to roll... :mrgreen:

Forget the cigars and just bring a sock and some rolling papers. I'm am betting it wound taste better. 8)

[jcarlton]

MR C... how long until I pass Queen PW so that I can be the new Queen??? :mrgreen:

You have always been a Queen in my eyes. 8)

[jcarlton]

Mr Cool, will I be able to handle the fun of tomorrow's Q Herf? I mean will I really be able to stand it?

Yes but only if you remember to bring a rare and aged cigar as an offering to JC. 8)

[zmancbr]

Mr Cool, will I be able to handle the fun of tomorrow's Q Herf? I mean will I really be able to stand it?

Yes but only if you remember to bring a rare and aged cigar as an offering to JC. 8)


:lol: Now that was a funny one! :mrgreen:

[LordOfWu]

Will Zach return to PWing after his move? What if he gets the new job?

[jcarlton]

Will Zach return to PWing after his move? What if he gets the new job?

Once a slacking PW always a slacking PW. 8)





:wink: :mrgreen:

[zmancbr]

Will Zach return to PWing after his move? What if he gets the new job?

Once a slacking PW always a slacking PW. 8)


:wink: :mrgreen:

From the sound of it, if I get that job I will be a busy bee lol... they made it sound like they are a super busy place to work and the day flies... of course they are government employees and we are all trained to pretend we work hard... :mrgreen: :twisted:

[LordOfWu]

Will Zach return to PWing after his move? What if he gets the new job?

Once a slacking PW always a slacking PW. 8)


:wink: :mrgreen:

From the sound of it, if I get that job I will be a busy bee lol... they made it sound like they are a super busy place to work and the day flies... of course they are government employees and we are all trained to pretend we work hard... :mrgreen: :twisted:

As long as they understand that you have other duties (PWing) that supersede their needs at any given time of the day it should work out.

[opusfxd]

What cigar should I smoke when I finally get my home intrusion issues worked out? Assuming they don't get in and steal my fridge for blunts.

[jcarlton]

What cigar should I smoke when I finally get my home intrusion issues worked out? Assuming they don't get in and steal my fridge for blunts.

I say, go preimptive on them and smoke a blunt. 8)

[jcarlton]

Tops for the people that need the answers.

[opusfxd]

Ok, here's one. Worked about 34 hours straight yesterday and went to sleep finally after another 4-5 hours. How long will it take me to recover and feel as normal as I usually feel?

[LordOfWu]

as normal as I usually feel?

Good clarification! :lol:

[zmancbr]

Mr JC... I am wondering what box or boxes I am going to buy this month? :mrgreen: I am thinking about spending $200 or less this month to get my savings back up... so what should I buy with that?

[opusfxd]

Mr. Cool,
I desperately need your help. I'm slipping fast!! Humidors and coolers are no longer good enough for me, I own a 1100 sf two floor townhome with a 550 sf unfinished basement. How many pounds of beads will I require to maintain proper RH? Would you suggest splitting the floors in different RHs for aging, storage and dry boxing?

How many Oust fans will I need? Should I just install some ceiling fans and run the blower on my furnace instead?

Thanks!!!
Slipping fast in Denver

[zmancbr]

Mr. Cool,
I desperately need your help. I'm slipping fast!! Humidors and coolers are no longer good enough for me, I own a 1100 sf two floor townhome with a 550 sf unfinished basement. How many pounds of beads will I require to maintain proper RH? Would you suggest splitting the floors in different RHs for aging, storage and dry boxing?

How many Oust fans will I need? Should I just install some ceiling fans and run the blower on my furnace instead?

Thanks!!!
Slipping fast in Denver


LMFAO... now that was pretty funny!! :mrgreen:

[jcarlton]

Mr JC... I am wondering what box or boxes I am going to buy this month? :mrgreen: I am thinking about spending $200 or less this month to get my savings back up... so what should I buy with that?

Monte #2, you know from where I speak.

[jcarlton]

Mr. Cool,
I desperately need your help. I'm slipping fast!! Humidors and coolers are no longer good enough for me, I own a 1100 sf two floor townhome with a 550 sf unfinished basement. How many pounds of beads will I require to maintain proper RH? Would you suggest splitting the floors in different RHs for aging, storage and dry boxing?

How many Oust fans will I need? Should I just install some ceiling fans and run the blower on my furnace instead?

Thanks!!!
Slipping fast in Denver


You don't need to go to any of that trouble, just drop your sticks at my place and I will take care of everything. :mrgreen:

[zmancbr]

Mr JC... I am wondering what box or boxes I am going to buy this month? :mrgreen: I am thinking about spending $200 or less this month to get my savings back up... so what should I buy with that?

Monte #2, you know from where I speak.


Dang... I was hoping you might say Party shorts or RASCC... :mrgreen: Or I might even need another box of Monte especials.... I am smoking too many of those already lol... :oops:

[jcarlton]

Mr JC... I am wondering what box or boxes I am going to buy this month? :mrgreen: I am thinking about spending $200 or less this month to get my savings back up... so what should I buy with that?

Monte #2, you know from where I speak.


Dang... I was hoping you might say Party shorts or RASCC... :mrgreen: Or I might even need another box of Monte especials.... I am smoking too many of those already lol... :oops:

I just ordered another box of Cazadores. :mrgreen:

[zmancbr]

I just ordered another box of Cazadores. :mrgreen:


Are they still on special?

I might have to think hard about what to get lol... I really want a RASS or RASCC so I might have to get that and another box... :mrgreen:

[opusfxd]

Hey Mr Cool,
How long til I get this set up and feel all warm and fuzzy in here again?

[RonaldMCd]

This was a great thread I hadn't seen before. Haha...good stuff.

[jcarlton]

Hey Mr Cool,
How long til I get this set up and feel all warm and fuzzy in here again?


You will have it setup in no time but the warm a fuzzy part is up to you. Now get your hands out of your pants and start to fixing, that should explain the cheese as well. :eek:

[workinonit50]

Nevermind. I figured it out.

[BackwardsGolfer]

Mr Cool

Recently, I was 'forced' to purchase a new cooler to store some over flow. Im noticing a trend here 1 cooler, 2 cooler.. and was wondering what comes next?

3 cooler?
floor?
divorce?
or
vinotemp?

[RonaldMCd]

Mr Cool

Recently, I was 'forced' to purchase a new cooler to store some over flow. Im noticing a trend here 1 cooler, 2 cooler.. and was wondering what comes next?

3 cooler?
floor?
divorce?
or
vinotemp?

My question is along the same lines...how does one go about hiding a cooler and it's contents without having a garage, a basement, or extra closets with enough room to hide a cooler?

[jcarlton]

Mr Cool

Recently, I was 'forced' to purchase a new cooler to store some over flow. Im noticing a trend here 1 cooler, 2 cooler.. and was wondering what comes next?

3 cooler?
floor?
divorce?
or
vinotemp?


You are redoing your basement right now right? Can you say walkin?:D

[BackwardsGolfer]

so divorce!

gotcha! :salute:

[jcarlton]

My question is along the same lines...how does one go about hiding a cooler and it's contents without having a garage, a basement, or extra closets with enough room to hide a cooler?

This is the truest test of the slope. Fire up an OpusX and contemplate this question, Filler Leaf (grasshopper, whatever you prefer). Can I trust Mike with my cigars after his walk-in is complete? And if that doesn't work get a locker at a local B&M and have your cigars delivered directly there. ;)

[opusfxd]

Would she really notice if you had two refridgerators? Tell her you're contemplating going Kosher and you need it.

[drjammer]

This is my first time asking; Mr. Cool I have a feeling that my job is going to end right before Christmas and my question is what should I smoke during my lay-off?

[jcarlton]

This is my first time asking; Mr. Cool I have a feeling that my job is going to end right before Christmas and my question is what should I smoke during my lay-off?

Esplendidos of course :39:

Hope all works out with the job situation!!!!

[drjammer]

Esplendidos of course :39:

Hope all works out with the job situation!!!!

Thank you! Luckily we have some money stashed and I am in school so it won't be too bad:39: