RonaldMCd
12-05-2008, 10:00 AM
Many of you have probably heard Mike comment on my super fertility. Many of you probably laughed, but in the back of your mind pondered the question “How is Mike such an expert on Clint’s fertility”. Against Mike’s wishes, I decided to come clean.
It is common knowledge that I have thousands of children with thousands of different women, but Mike has first hand knowledge of my super fertility. Putting “super” in that title makes it sound like some sort of power, but let me assure you, all this has caused is $millions$ in child support due every month, and it isn’t something I ever wished upon myself.
For Mike, it all started when I was wed to my beautiful wife, where Mike was one of my groomsmen. After the wedding we did the normal wedding picture stuff, and I think it happened during the shooting of the following photo:
http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u42/ikayaknboard/wedding.jpg
This may not look like much, but notice where Mike is in relation to my woohoo. I think it is the fact that he was the closest, that he was the only one impregnated. It could also be that he appears to be looking at it…maybe that is what causes “superium instantaneouso impregnatus”, the medical condition that occurs to certain people who have been in contact with me. It all happened so fast. They picked me up before I had time to warn any of them…fortunately Mike was the only casualty.
Approximately 6 months later when it was obvious Mike was pregnant, the media found out there was a pregnant man. Articles and pictures started hitting the shelf. Mike made appearances on all the big talk shows, signed his autograph on pregnant women’s bellies, had the standard pregnant celebrity photo shoots.
Then the depression hit. He realized he didn’t want the fame, didn’t want to be treated like some kind of circus freak anymore. So he went into hiding, paid all the websites to take his pictures down, gave our child up for adoption, and pretended it never happened. Luckily I kept one of the magazine articles, pictured below.
http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u42/ikayaknboard/Prego_Mike.jpg
So now you know. Happy Friday.
It is common knowledge that I have thousands of children with thousands of different women, but Mike has first hand knowledge of my super fertility. Putting “super” in that title makes it sound like some sort of power, but let me assure you, all this has caused is $millions$ in child support due every month, and it isn’t something I ever wished upon myself.
For Mike, it all started when I was wed to my beautiful wife, where Mike was one of my groomsmen. After the wedding we did the normal wedding picture stuff, and I think it happened during the shooting of the following photo:
http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u42/ikayaknboard/wedding.jpg
This may not look like much, but notice where Mike is in relation to my woohoo. I think it is the fact that he was the closest, that he was the only one impregnated. It could also be that he appears to be looking at it…maybe that is what causes “superium instantaneouso impregnatus”, the medical condition that occurs to certain people who have been in contact with me. It all happened so fast. They picked me up before I had time to warn any of them…fortunately Mike was the only casualty.
Approximately 6 months later when it was obvious Mike was pregnant, the media found out there was a pregnant man. Articles and pictures started hitting the shelf. Mike made appearances on all the big talk shows, signed his autograph on pregnant women’s bellies, had the standard pregnant celebrity photo shoots.
Then the depression hit. He realized he didn’t want the fame, didn’t want to be treated like some kind of circus freak anymore. So he went into hiding, paid all the websites to take his pictures down, gave our child up for adoption, and pretended it never happened. Luckily I kept one of the magazine articles, pictured below.
http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u42/ikayaknboard/Prego_Mike.jpg
So now you know. Happy Friday.